All That is Over Now
I am done with lies.
I am about to happen.
kite festival
“Saturday in the park…I think it was the 4th of July…”
A note to self in times of despair:
Dear Heart,
There are so many things that suck; a myriad of ways that pain can be felt. There are infinite amounts of lies that linger in the air of this broken Earth. They are drawn in with our breath and circulate throughout our lifeblood. This is poison.
You know this; that is exactly why things are hard. Truth testifies within but there are so many other voices declaring that they are reality. They press us to believe that they are realer than hope.
I am writing to say that in the time when it feels pointless to push forward because we are so severely broken and defiled we must. In this moment picturing wholeness is abstract and frankly can discourage. It seems so far off…
But fight heart of mine, not for yourself but for the prize that is Christ. Focus now, refuse cliche, refuse excuse, refuse weariness, refuse paralysis, refuse despair. Fight for he is worth every effort. He is worth fighting a million lost battles for there is hope of victory. Fight because here in this awful place you can meet Him.
Don’t despair. Don’t say that you can’t fight anymore. All that is required of you is to admit that hope will never relent and the wisdom of love will be justified. Admit that you will not succeed in your path. Resign ideas of self-reliance that force you into bitterness. Heart, please hear me. Don’t let your pain become comfort. It doesn’t matter that you don’t see a way.
All that I urge you to do is realize that no pain is worth feeling over unity with Christ. That is reality. Chose to cling to brokenness or choose to cling to Him. There are no other options.
Don’t say that this is overly dramatic.
He is here. Buck up and realize you are refusing him while you wallow! You, poor heart, are refusing the Love of your life.
Easter
For years I was embittered at how commercial our culture’s observation of Easter is. My general thoughts about it were along the lines of “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???? What do bunnies and pastel candies have to do with the resurrection of the Messiah”? I wanted to observe the significance in private in true worship conveniently avoiding the church.
Easter was a on a long list of things about “the church” that rubbed me the wrong way. Christmas, schedule, blatant enthusiasm, it all bothered me. I was a lot more interested in a less overt approach. I was more comfortable with stoic energy than a joyful enthusiasm. The latter was fake and the former intense.
That perception was a lie though. Sure there are a lot of fake things in the church but fake doesn’t hide behind a singular mask.
Last year while watching the dance team on stage at my church’s Easter celebration I realized that it was a celebration. It wasn’t a show for the congregation, it wasn’t a contrived display of joy, it was worship. My thoughts went back to that morning when I was getting dressed. I was torn for a few minutes as to whether or not I should get dressed up. “Wouldn’t that be sort of fake? Should I wear a dress just because it is Easter”? When I reflected on my response it dawned on me that the Holy Spirit had answered me. “Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you honored? The Son of Man is alive and that’s what you are devoting this day to meditate on, to celebrate”.
My aversion to the Easter tradition was foolish pride parading as true and earnest devotion.
I love Easter. I love gathering with a group of people and expressing our exciment that Jesus has conquered death in all the Earth. I love worshiping Him for all his love and His perfect leadership.
I am so excited to put on a beautiful dress and go to church, stand in a crowd, raise my hands and say “This is all for you Lord”.
Time
It is essential that I begin to value my time more.
There is no reason to live a day with out intention, even if my intention is rest. Today I am resolving to cherish the very gift of presence that the Lord gives me daily. I will savor this grace.
Today is important and fading quickly.
An inspiring story about a man who just loves to draw. I hope to love what I do as much as he did. The story of Doyald Young, Logotype Designer
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. Thank you.
By the Way:
I am not sure where this is all taking me…
hard to commit
Lately a lot of things have felt annoyingly complicated.
Making a friend: hard - emotionally taxing - uncomfortable
Investing in community: demanding - scary
But I am called to commit regardless of what it requires of me. I can’t hide myself because it’s hard to receive love. The Lord is constantly fighting to be with the church. I can’t deny that He wants me to do the same. I have to join in and fight for community. It’s the trickiest fight of all because I have to fight with my guard down and my heart wide open.
Well I will. I am going to commit. I will choose again and again to invest.
maturity in joy
Joy is under estimated.
It takes maturity to maintain joy; intelligence and solidarity of person is necessary to accept, respond to and engage with joy.
Joy is not shallow or dismissive.
It is an absolute lie that joy requires us to suspend the reality of our lives. A deep deep joy comes flooding out of my heart when I consider reality.
Reality: I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord, I have no good apart from you… psalm 16:2
Reality: I am not apart
